23 Weeks: “You’ll get a second wind.”

I am nothing less than grumpy. 

This constant headache is getting me down and I am sick of having to bend over to do up my jeans. My skin is dry no matter how much time I spend moisturising, and my hair is ridiculously thick but still coming out in handfuls. When I sit down for a long while my tummy makes the top of my legs all hot and I have to stand up…that’s if I haven’t already got up for yet another wee. When I lie on my back my tummy squashes me, but I am too tired to stay up past eight pm. My shoes leave indentations on my feet and you can’t get dancewear in maternity sizes. My hips feel like they might just slip out of their sockets and my fingers have got too chubby for my wedding ring. If I stand for too long my tummy feels like it might just fall off.  If a doctor saw me trying to find something to wear each morning they would probably offer counselling.

 I have no desire to do anything more athletic than putting my own socks on. I spend half of the day feeling absolutely starving and the other half feeling absolutely sick. People keep trying to give me unwelcome advice: “Take this vitamin/lie on your side/eat sardines/go for walks/try yoga/wear a sports bra/don’t wash your hair/put Vaseline on it/put your feet up/sleep more/sleep less”. I want to respond with “stop speaking to me, you ridiculous person”, but I can’t because that would be rude and socially unacceptable. I seem to have got pregnant at the same time as the most flawless celebrities who don’t seem to be having and trouble tripping about in their high heels with their hair all blow-dried. I am too tired after washing my hair to even lift my hairdryer. I am not even going to address the high heels. How did Victoria Beckham manage this four times?

 It is safe to say that I am getting pretty tired of this now, and I’m not even that big yet. I really, really can’t wait to have my body back. Last night I slept a good ten hours, had a bath this morning and then could jolly well have slept another ten hours. I am truly exhausted. My eyelashes ache (how can eyelashes ache?). I turned to Facebook this morning to vent. A friend replied to my post: “It does (get easier)! You’ll get a second wind!” I hope she is right.

 I cannot wait for my second wind. I wish I could fast-forward to my second wind. Here’s to my second wind. Please hurry up second wind. I hope that my second wind makes me want to blow dry my hair and wear high heels.


I am holding out for my second wind.




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